Beauty is in the Eye of the…Gardener

The latest from our friend Steven Chamblee…
We opened up our e-mail late last week and a bunch of little gems poured out before us. I have no idea how long it took Steven to come up with all of these, but on his behalf, we offer them proudly for your enjoyment.

A man’s reach should exceed his grapes.
A penny saved is a penny that could have bought another gadget you don’t need.
A man is known by the compost he keeps.
A fool and his new lawnmower are soon parted.
Absence makes the weeds grow faster.
Actions speak louder than worms.
All’s fair in love and growing giant pumpkins.
An apple a day means you live in Wisconsin.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…perhaps it’s time to irrigate.
Curiosity killed the catmint.
Cleanliness is next to laziness.
Discretion is the better part of growing tomatoes.

Continued Below

Do unto azaleas as you would have them do unto you.
Don’t put all your eggplants in one basket…share a few.
Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration…and lots of compost.
God help those who help themselves to my tomatoes.
He who lives by the shovel shall die by a righteous compost heap.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the hornworms.
Horticulturist: Jack of all trades, master of fun!
If necessity is the mother of invention, the father is duct tape.
It ain’t over ‘til it’s mulched.
Laughter is the best…way to deal with squirrels.
Let sleeping dogwoods lie.
Look before you leak…the neighbors might be watching.
Man does not live by tomatoes alone, but he could.
Mighty oaks from little acorns grow…and always too darn close to the house.
Money doesn’t grow on trees…except for pistachios.
Money is the root of all excessively large barbeques.
Never put off until tomorrow the grafting you can screw up today.
Never judge a gardener by his bookshelf.
No fig ventured, no fig gained.
No man can serve two Master Gardeners.
No rain, no gain.
Nothing is certain but death and Taxus (and squash bugs).
One good turnip deserves another.
One man’s trash is another man’s yard art.
Out of her sight, out of your mind…she “tidied up” the work shed!
Patience is a virtue…humbug! Ask your okra.
Quitters never win and winners never listen to that teenage “garden expert” at the big box store.
Seek and ye shall find caterpillars.
Silence is golden…but laughing grandchildren are platinum.
Spare the rod and spoil the grandkids. Who wants ice cream?
The best things come in small seed packages.
The best things in life are free…of aphids.
The bigger they are, the more photos you’ll post.
The Buick stops here…your local independent nursery.
The early bird catches the worm…best sleep in if you’re a worm.
The grass is always greener in Ohio…until it’s covered with three feet of snow.
The ends justify the beans.
The road to hell is paved with those stepping stones that look like bare feet.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomata.
The pen is mightier than the sword…when you’re buying a new Z-turn mower.
There’s no time like the present…to put off weeding.
Two heads are better than none…except for snakes.
What’s good for the goose is…a Doberman. Geese are mean.
When the going gets tough, the tough get a bigger tiller.
Where there’s a will, there’s a relative hoping to inherit the lawn tractor.
You can’t always get what you want, but if you try some thyme, you just might find, you reap what you seed.
You win some, you lose some…the squirrels get the rest.


Come see me!
I will be presenting “Great Garden Ideas” –a program of inspiring horticultural ideas gathered during my travels from coast to coast–in Granbury on January 22. The Lake Granbury Master Gardeners are hosting me for this open-to-the-public event that’s sure to be filled with lots of garden ingenuity, some great door prizes, and topped off with a heapin’ helping of fun. We kick off at 6pm at 1410 West Pearl Street in Granbury, Texas. $10 admission will help to cover the costs of this great event. Sooooo worth it!

For more info, call Hood county AgriLife at 817-579-3280 or visit for more details.

Posted by Steven Chamblee
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