Beauty is in the Eye of the…Gardener

Sometimes it pays to look back through the files. We have so many new e-gardeners, and others of you may have missed this great story filed by our buddy Steven Chamblee several years ago. I’ve asked his permission to run it again – and he agreed! Hope you enjoy it as much as I have!

A man’s reach should exceed his grapes.
A penny saved is a penny that could have bought another gadget you don’t need.
A man is known by the compost he keeps.
A fool and his new lawnmower are soon parted.
Absence makes the weeds grow faster.
Actions speak louder than worms.
All’s fair in love and growing giant pumpkins.
An apple a day means you live in Wisconsin.
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…perhaps it’s time to irrigate.
Curiosity killed the catmint.
Cleanliness is next to laziness.
Discretion is the better part of growing tomatoes.

Continued Below

Do unto azaleas as you would have them do unto you.
Don’t put all your eggplants in one basket…share a few.
Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration…and lots of compost.
God help those who help themselves to my tomatoes.
He who lives by the shovel shall die by a righteous compost heap.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the hornworms.
Horticulturist: Jack of all trades, master of fun!
If necessity is the mother of invention, the father is duct tape.
It ain’t over ‘til it’s mulched.
Laughter is the best…way to deal with squirrels.
Let sleeping dogwoods lie.
Look before you leak…the neighbors might be watching.
Man does not live by tomatoes alone, but he could.
Mighty oaks from little acorns grow…and always too darn close to the house.
Money doesn’t grow on trees…except for pistachios.
Money is the root of all excessively large barbeques.
Never put off until tomorrow the grafting you can screw up today.
Never judge a gardener by his bookshelf.
No fig ventured, no fig gained.
No man can serve two Master Gardeners.
No rain, no gain.
Nothing is certain but death and Taxus (and squash bugs).
One good turnip deserves another.
One man’s trash is another man’s yard art.
Out of her sight, out of your mind…she “tidied up” the work shed!
Patience is a virtue…humbug! Ask your okra.
Quitters never win and winners never listen to that teenage “garden expert” at the big box store.
Seek and ye shall find caterpillars.
Silence is golden…but laughing grandchildren are platinum.
Spare the rod and spoil the grandkids. Who wants ice cream?
The best things come in small seed packages.
The best things in life are free…of aphids.
The bigger they are, the more photos you’ll post.
The Buick stops here…your local independent nursery.
The early bird catches the worm…best sleep in if you’re a worm.
The grass is always greener in Ohio…until it’s covered with three feet of snow.
The ends justify the beans.
The road to hell is paved with those stepping stones that look like bare feet.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomata.
The pen is mightier than the sword…when you’re buying a new Z-turn mower.
There’s no time like the present…to put off weeding.
Two heads are better than none…except for snakes.
What’s good for the goose is…a Doberman. Geese are mean.
When the going gets tough, the tough get a bigger tiller.
Where there’s a will, there’s a relative hoping to inherit the lawn tractor.
You can’t always get what you want, but if you try some thyme, you just might find, you reap what you seed.
You win some, you lose some…the squirrels get the rest.


Just so you know… the Longview Arboretum & Nature Center is OPEN! Hours are 10am-5pm, Wednesday through Saturday; Sunday 12 noon-5pm. Come out and see us! And bring your own brand of Zen! 903-212-2181

I need a road trip! Let me know if you’d like me to come and speak to your group sometime. I’m low maintenance, flexible, and you know I like to go just about anywhere. No city too big; no town too small. Just send me an e-mail at and we’ll work something out.

Posted by Steven Chamblee
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