Native Son: I Tried to Plant a Seed Today

I tried to plant a seed today,
It seemed such a simple thing to do,
But clueless me had no idea,
Of the trouble I’s ‘bout to brew.

First, I thought of a sunflower tall,
Bright sunny yellow against a blue-sky wall…
Until a very nice lady from the local HOA,
Stopped by to say, “no way.”

Okay … think I’ll try a petunia or two,
My mother so loved the colors, the varieties.
Then I found myself getting six lengthy lectures
From six different native plant societies.

My grandmother had lovely purple castor beans …
OMG – They’re toxic!
Rip and burn and run!
Kill all datura and mystical mescal beans!
FYI – Our beloved bluebonnet … (nooo!)
(yep) … Toxic as they come!

A friend of mine says there’s no rhyme for “pollinators.”
That dumb sofa solanum never spent a summer “haulin’ taters.”

Sustainable or not, the world is growing hot,
Is permaculture the answer? I don’t know …
Maybe the real answer lies below:
Hügelkultur – gardening on top of a hump of buried logs and sticks
Bügelkultur – gardening on Halloween
Mügelkultur – gardening with your cows
Pügelkultur – gardening after Mügelkultur
Zügelkultur – gardening with lions, tigers, and hippos
Wüpügelkultur – gardening after Zügelkultur
Brügelkultur – gardening with beer during football season
Frügelkultur – gardening with Jack Benny
Nügelkultur — gardening to get more nügels
Tügelkultur – gardening with a friend
Shügelkultur – gardening to show off your new cute garden shoes
Gügelkultur – non-gardening; when you’ve given up and go inside to the AC and just look at pretty garden pictures on the computer all day.

And so, in the end, I planted my seed!
What kind of seed, you ask?
I wouldn’t tell you for all the money in the cosmos.
Peace & Love,
Steven